How I Met Your Mother- Season 8- Ep. 1 "Farhampton"
- Ted: Victoria seems like a great girl. Why wouldn’t you wanna marry her?
- Klaus: (Sigh) Ah, ok. Victoria is wunderbar. I’m sorry. “Wunderbar” is the German word for “wonderful”…
- Ted: Yeah, I know…
- Klaus: Oh, you speak German? (Begins to speak German)
- Ted: No, no, no. Just the one word.
- Klaus: Oh, oh (sigh) Ah…Victoria… There’s a word in German: Lebenschlangershicksalsschatz. And the closest translation would be “life-long treasure of destiny”. And Victoria is wunderbar, but she’s not my Lebenschlangershicksalsschatz. She’s my Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand. You know?
- Ted: (Says no with his head).
- Klaus: You know wunderbar, but you don’t know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? That’s stuff that we learn in kindergarten? I’m sorry, kindergarten is the German word for…
- Ted: No, no…I know that one.
- Klaus: Oh, ok. But you don’t know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand? You’re madly inconsistent. It means “the thing that is almost the thing that you want, but is not quite”. That is Victoria to me.
- Ted: How do you know that she’s not your Lebenschlangershicksalsschatz? I mean…maybe as the years go by she’ll get Lebenschlangershicksalsschatz-ier.
- Klaus: Oh, nein, nein, nein. Lebenschlangershicksalsschatz is not something that develops over time, it is something that happens instantaneously. It crosses through you like the water of the river after a storm; filling you and emptying you, all at once. You feel it through out your body: in your hands, in your heart, in your stomach, in your skin. Of course you feel it in your Schlauchmanchendejungen. Pardon my French. Have you ever felt this way about someone?
- Ted: Yeah, I think so.
- Klaus: If you have to think about it, you have not felt it.
- Ted: And you’re absolutely sure you’ll find that some day?
- Klaus: Of course. Everyone does eventually. You just never know when or where.
I don’t need someone that sees what’s good about me. I need someone that sees the bad and still wants me.
Sometimes I wonder if my whole life will pass by this way: me waiting in the shadows, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone else to make it happen. Something new or different or crazy and amazing. I‘ve been there for so long, letting everyone else figure it out for me, floating along without much direction or conscious thought. Reacting.
- Internships are the building blocks of your résumé. Apply to them. Meet people.
- Choose a degree that is relevant to the real world. Minor in History if you love it so much.
- Everyone knows how to use Microsoft Office. Putting it under the “Skills” section of your résumé is not impressive.
- See the world. This is the only time you have in your life to spend months in a foreign country. Take advantage of your lack of responsibility to travel.
- 99.9% of employers will never look at your transcript. A 4.0 GPA will not land you a job. Good interpersonal skills might.
- No employer cares whether you were on the executive board of your fraternity or sorority or other campus organization. Serve the organization because you love it, not simply to use it as space-filler on your résumé.
- Proofread everything. Twice. Or else no one will believe that you’re “detial-oriented.”
- You have four (or five) years to make something of yourself. Use that time wisely.
- Go out with your friends on a Tuesday night despite having a test on Wednesday. The test won’t matter in ten years, but your friendships will.
- Do not expect the college senior to fall in love with you after you sleep together. Actually, just don’t sleep together. This will not end well.
- Really get to know your professors. Use office hours to your advantage. You never know what doors they can open for you.
- Graduate school is rarely a good idea, especially if you’re only using it to delay the real world for a few years. The more money you make now, the less debt you’ll have later.
- Realize that you will be in debt until you’re forty. Make peace with this early.
- One bad grade won’t ruin your life. Get over yourself.
- Beware of credit cards. No matter what they say, money isn’t free.
- Don’t burn bridges. You never know when you might need help from someone.
- Eat good food. Nothing will make you feel worse than six straight nights of Ramen.
- Buy a plunger before you actually need said plunger. Just trust me on this one.
- Press save. It will keep you from having that 4:00am mental breakdown.
- All-nighters will not help you learn the material. Budget time throughout the day to study so that you can actually sleep before the final exam.
- Use a condom. No one wants that “I’m late” text.
- Work during the summers. Employers want someone with real-life experience.
- Call your mom once a week. She wants to stay involved in your life, and a twenty-minute phone conversation won’t kill you.
- You have four years to learn your alcohol limit. This will save you from puking at the office Christmas party.
- The college cafeteria will make you fat. So will alcohol. Be careful about what you’re putting into your body.
- Find a few hours each week to work out. Cardio is great stress relief.
- So is sex. Booty calls are sometimes necessary. Don’t beat yourself up for it in the morning.
- Learn to cook. Eating out is expensive and unhealthy. A few basics can last you a long time.
- Take pictures. Not everything has to be posted to Instagram, but you will want to have these memories documented.
- Volunteer. Not because you have to, but because you want to. The Humane Society always needs people to play with the animals.
- Learn how to budget. Your parents won’t be around to give you money forever.
- Buy shower shoes. Use them. Save yourself from foot fungus.
- Beer is expensive. Buy vodka.
- Interviews are nerve-wracking. Practice with a friend before you go.
- Find good references. They can be the difference between being offered your dream job and being turned down.
- It’s okay to turn down your first job offer to wait for a better one. Have faith in yourself.
- If you’re treated like a slave at your internship, it’s okay to leave. Find a company that sees your worth.
- Learn how to code HTML. This is an invaluable skill.
- Also learn Photoshop. Every company in the world needs someone who can design a poster.
- Take a couple classes just for fun. There’s a difference between smart and educated.
- Know your priorities. Stick to them.
- Start searching for a job a year before you graduate. It takes time to find something you want.
- Apply for jobs you may not be completely qualified for. You may be the only applicant.
- Don’t get too discouraged when you fail at something. Lay in bed for two days. Cry. Then get back up and start living again.
- Everyone has something to teach you. Listen to them.
- Make mistakes, but be sure to learn from them.
- Textbooks are expensive and you will never need them again. Rent, don’t buy.
- No one will ever care how wasted you were last night. They saw it first hand. Shut up.
- No one is responsible for you except you. Think twice before you do something.
- Don’t think that these have to be the best four years of your life. Life after graduation is pretty awesome too.
Everyone’s just looking for reasons to wake up and get out of bed, some do it for nothing but a kiss, perhaps a cup of coffee, others have a harder time; no train to catch, no hand to hold, no reasons at all.
Now I remember why I could never see myself with you.
You were the drought that sucked the life out of me.
The conversation that always stopped mid-sentence.
And the perfect definition of men who never bothered to think before they spoke.
We were yin and yang, and despite people saying differences attract,
There was nothing more unattractive to me than people who were hollow on the inside.
You’re not an idiot. You’re human. It’s a design flaw we have, I guess. Some people leave heavy marks on us and depending on how deep, it’ll take a while to fade. But it will fade. He’ll fade. And it’ll be all good.